For those of you who don't know what SAHM stands for, it is the acronym for "stay at home mom." And I am not really sure if it is burnout from being a stay at home mom that I am feeling, or if I am just in a strange place in my life at the moment.
I'm living somewhere that I am not sure is for me - far from the hometown that I love (NYC!), far from fantastic friends, far from family, far from SoulCycle (yes, that is included in this list). The daily grind and monotony of our days has me dreaming of work and what I will do when I do go back to work one day. (I haven't had a job in five years - since P was born! - which should make finding one an interesting challenge when the girls are both in school all day.)
I never really gave serious thought to my career before we had children, always knowing that having kids was a top priority for me. It still is a top priority (or I wouldn't still be a stay at home mom!) and I absolutely adore my children, but I wonder about me. What happened to me as an individual? What are my passions and interests, apart from my family? I would not change the last five years, but I really do feel that I lost myself along the way.
It has been quite an interesting year and a half since we moved here to Richmond from New York. I have realized a lot about myself, including major fears that I have that made me be a passive presence instead of an active participant in my own life.
I want to wake up every morning and feel excited and energized about the day ahead. I want to feel motivated and inspired. I want to love my surroundings and feel the joy in all of the wonderful things around me. I will get there, I am confident of that, but I have a ways to go.
