Monday's Musings 7.9.12

Hi friends.

I hope you all had a great weekend and enjoyed some time with family or friends (or both).  Perhaps you were able to take a dip in a pool or the ocean to escape the crazy heat?  We did all of the above and B is finally back from his conference, so we are one happy bunch around here (when "we're" not throwing tantrums and fighting over toys, of course).

I read Jane Brody's "How To Make Optimism Work for You" in the NY Times last week, and it has been on my mind, really making me stop to evaluate the way I think.  I've come to the conclusion that I need to change the way I think.  That shouldn't be too hard, right?  Ha.

I went back to read Brody's original article, entitled "A Richer Life By Seeing the Glass Half Full", and there are so many reasons for me to stop being pessimistic or catastrophizing, as I often do.  There are numerous health benefits to a more positive attitude, as noted by researchers at the Mayo Clinic, but it also feels so much better to "look on the bright side."  I know that sounds completely ridiculous and obvious, but for some reason, this is new to me.

My mind has always been filled with "what ifs."  Ever since I was a child, I remember the "what ifs."  What if I get separated from my parents?  What if someone breaks into our apartment?  What if I can't breathe?  As time has passed, the worries have changed slightly, but they are still there: What if there is another terrorist attack?  What if we lose power and get stuck in the elevator in this heat?  Yes, it goes on and on.  A common refrain from my parents was "You worry too much."  Pardon my French, but no shit, Sherlock.

After reading these articles last week, I've finally come to understand that there is a genetic component to how we think and that yes, life can be terrifying and full of crappy situations... or it can be one big adventure that you chose to try to enjoy.  I'm not fooling myself into thinking that everything will always be peachy keen and wonderful, happy times, but I don't have to look at it all as being so freaking hard.  Sure, having two young children is a lot of work, but it's also incredibly amazing to see these little girls grow and live and laugh.  It's a lot more fun to enjoy them than it is to focus on the hard parts of motherhood.

A big question for me right now is what I will do after the girls are both in school and I can work (at least part time) again.  I still want to be able to take them to school and pick them up, but I can't wait to have something other than my children to focus on.  This blog has been incredible and is so much fun for me to work on.  No, I'm not making money (which is another factor in my thoughts of returning to work), but I'm doing something I enjoy that is not about child-rearing.  In two years, L will be going to kindergarten and I will have more time to get a real job and work for actual money (imagine that!?!).  So what should I do, I wonder?  I have been home now for almost 6 years (since P was born in 2006), and my interests are all over the place.

What I especially loved about the Times' articles was the advice some gave to "Fake it until you make it."  If you put in the time, energy, and hard work to do something you love, it just may work out for you.  If things stand in your way, it is possible to work around them and continue to fight for whatever it is you want.  No, you don't necessarily need to go get an advanced degree in whatever area it is you are interested in - simply go for it and give it everything you've got.  Why this is all so mind-blowing and exciting to me, I have no idea!

So, now, I need to figure out what it is I want to focus on and work towards.  Do I work harder on this blog and try to grow it into something much bigger and cooler?  Do I focus on my photography (which I have always loved)?  Do I try to work with kids and literacy in some way?  Do I go back to interior design (I guess that wouldn't be "faking it" since I was an interior designer before having kids)?  Do I become a real estate agent just to try to make some serious money?  What do you guys think?  For those of you that know me, suggestions would be much appreciated!  My ADD mind could go on and on for hours...